Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The newness of the everyday

I woke this morning to the sound of cat biscuits trickling against plastic as puss ate her breakfast. I knew it was Spacey as Jerusalem sneaks in at night so as to avoid Mango chasing her. Familiar sounds and recognizing them offer a comfort they can also trigger an avalanche of feelings.
I have a picture f myself as a rain-meter. One of those ones on the side of the house that measures rainfall. Mine is constantly near the top and periodically overflows. The rain just sits there in the bottom it is a given and is becoming familiar in a way that the sound of trickling biscuits has.

When you lose someone and face each day it is all new. Every single thing is different and you face it for the first time. It is exhausting. Grief is exhausting...a steady and relentless letting go and facing new.
I am practicing my mantra of bird by bird and putting good things in place. I can see that there is good things happening and I know them. I expect the feeling that accompanies these things will attach at some time.

I have had had a fresh view of spirit and are starting to connect in again which is a relief really.
 The river that flows through and provides a rich source of life. The well-spring.
Arihana described it as a cold clear mountain stream.
It was such a good picture and took me back to tramping around as a child in Glenorchy, being hot and thirsty and finding a stream. Always a bit too shallow for a swim and made your ankles ache when you paddled. But delicious to drink.

Mandy gave me a good expression, which has been carrying me through this week..Concrete in your boots. I like it. So concrete in my cowboy boots, concrete in my Gumboots. Getting some necessary things done...Concrete in my rain-waders.



Image taken from http://www.wordonfire.org/WoF-Blog/WoF-Blog/May-2012/Spirituality-Praying-for-Rain.aspx